Pokémaniacal

…and where else to start but with my very own starter Pokémon?  Before the English versions of Black and White were released, Snivy was given the fan nickname “Smugleaf,” and you can see why.  My gods, he looks pleased with himself, doesn’t he?  Honestly, I think Smugleaf would have been a better name than Snivy as it fits with the impression of haughtiness that Nintendo seems to have been aiming for with this entire evolutionary line, but it was not to be.  Ah well.  It certainly works anyway, in my opinion (except that the name “Servine” is a little unfortunate – it makes me think “servile,” when he is anything but).  All three of these Pokémon clearly think not only that they’re smarter than you, but also stronger, more important and infinitely more handsome.  You will want to strangle them within about five minutes.

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So, Pokémon Black and White came out just a little while ago.  On the one hand, that means new Pokémon – one hundred and fifty-six of them, in fact!  On the other… new Pokémon are always a mixed bag.  I have long been of the opinion that ever since the third set of Pokémon games, Ruby and Sapphire, Nintendo have been setting an arbitrary target for the number of new Pokémon they felt the new games should have, failing miserably to meet it, and then making stuff up at relatively short notice to fill in the blanks in the Pokédex.

In case my tone is not being properly conveyed across the electronic void, I have an exceedingly low opinion of this state of affairs.

Still, whenever it comes up in conversation – which it does often, since playing Pokémon is kind of seen as my ‘thing’ amongst my friends – I doggedly insist that Nintendo do still have good ideas from time to time, and that a great many post-2002 Pokémon are indeed worthy of existence and can be compared favourably to the members of the hallowed original 151 if you look at them from a certain angle and squint a little bit.

Anyway, having played through most of Black and White now, I feel a pressing need to rant about everything I’ve seen and how far I believe Nintendo has succeeded – or, in an alarming number of cases, failed – in their quest to drag ever more money out of- er… I mean… to bring joy and wonder to a new generation of lovely children.  And stuff.  Because I’m opinionated, damnit!

I’m going to be working through the Unovan Pokédex, rambling about each Pokémon’s design, powers, back-story, and general worthiness of name “Pokémon,” with all the authority of a random blogger (I’m on the internet so I MUST BE RIGHT!) and I’m going to try to do it, as far as possible, in terms that will make some sort of sense to people who haven’t played Pokémon since the heady days of Gold and Silver – so stop me if I’m starting to confuse you.

So… time to get started…