The time has come (largely because I’m running out of anything else) to think about some more legendary Pokémon, namely the so-called “legendary musketeers,” Cobalion, Terrakion, Virizion and Keldeo. These Fighting-type Pokémon have that name because, according to the designers, they are based on the eponymous French warriors of Alexandre Dumas’ classic novel, the Three Musketeers, though personally I think it would be more appropriate to say that they are, if anything, parallel to the musketeers. You might be forgiven for not thinking that the connection is immediately obvious (in fact, I’m not convinced anyone could work it out without being told or simply getting very lucky with a wild guess) – both groups have (in brief) an old one, a fat one, and a gay one (Athos, Porthos, and Aramis, respectively), plus an annoying kid who hangs around with them because he wants to join their club (d’Artagnan). They are also both renowned for swordsmanship – the Pokémon versions only in a figurative sense, in that they all learn Swords Dance and share a signature move called Sacred Sword; despite the name, they fight mainly by goring enemies with their horns. Cobalion, Terrakion, Virizion and Keldeo are, furthermore, motivated by their ideals of duty and justice, which likewise sounds like a reference. All four of these Pokémon are Fighting-types, probably because that’s the element that’s normally given to Pokémon based on human warriors or martial artists, but these equine Pokémon have been shifted so far from what they’re actually ‘based on’ (like I said, ‘parallel to’ would be a more accurate description) that they have very little in common with all the other Fighting-types. Every other Fighting Pokémon has a vaguely humanoid or at least bipedal form, with two arms and two legs (Machamp and Heracross are the greatest deviations you get from this pattern), many Fighting attacks require arms and hands and most of them are martial arts or wrestling moves. I can appreciate the effort at creating a Fighting attack that works for a horned quadruped, but the fact is, it’s not a very good one; horns are for stabbing, not cutting, and the image of these Pokémon trying to toss their heads in such a way as to slash an opponent standing in front of them is ludicrous (and yes, I believe Sacred Sword is supposed to be like a slashing sword, not a stabbing one – notice, for instance, that the Bug attack available to these Pokémon is X-Scissor, not Megahorn, which would also be appropriate). That’s all I have to say about Cobalion, Terrakion, Virizion and Keldeo as a group: now, let’s tackle ‘em one by one.