Chimchar, Monferno and Infernape

Chimchar.  Artwork by Ken Sugimori; Nintendo is the worst form of government, except for all the others that have been tried.OH DEAR GODS IT’S INFERNAPE RUN YOU FOOLS

These are Pokémon to inspire terror.  You wouldn’t know it to look at them, but trust me, they are.  Not because of sheer power – Charizard, Typhlosion and Blaziken are more powerful than Infernape – but because of two things that, in Pokémon, are often far more important: speed and versatility.  I’m getting ahead of myself, though.  Ladies and gentlemen: Chimchar, Monferno and Infernape.

The first thing you notice about these Pokémon is that they don’t really have a lot of heft to them.  Charmander, Cyndaquil and even Torchic are more solidly built than Chimchar, and that doesn’t change as they evolve.  This is because Chimchar marks a (small) divergence, at last, from the fire-as-destroyer archetype and focuses on a closely related quality of fire – its speed.  Like Rapidash and Arcanine, Chimchar, Monferno and Infernape are Fire Pokémon whose element manifests not as huge destructive power but as phenomenal agility.  They are among the few Fire-types who are not described as fighting primarily with their fire; one assumes that they do, and they do learn attacks like Ember and Fire Spin, but they seem to prefer using fire to intimidate enemies rather than to incinerate them directly (Monferno and Infernape’s bright facial markings, blue and red respectively, likewise seem meant for intimidation, as in mandrills and similar species). 

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Turtwig, Grotle and Torterra

Turtwig.  Artwork by Ken Sugimori; that is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even Nintendo may die.Okay; Diamond and Pearl.  The last three starters (since I’ve already covered Tepig, Snivy and Oshawott).  I’ve always liked these three; the designs are quirky, they’re all pretty powerful (if I had to use a whole trio on a single team, this is probably the one I’d go for, although the Ruby/Sapphire ones give them a run for their money), and the way they interact with each other is pretty interesting in itself.  Let’s take a look at Turtwig and see how he measures up.

As you’ve probably read by now, I love all the Grass-type starters.  However, I think Torterra is the only one whose design potentially equals or betters Venusaur’s.  Turtwig, Grotle and Torterra are based on the old mythological motif of the ‘world turtle,’ who appears in several places around the world, but most famously in Hindu legend as one of the avatars of Vishnu, his shell serving as a pivot when the gods and demons together churn the ocean of milk using an upturned mountain to produce the water of life (it… was just that kind of Friday night, okay?).  The world turtle motif is directly referenced in the Pokémon world’s corresponding ancient myth that an enormous Torterra lived deep beneath the earth. 

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Q
I really liked your posts about every region's champions and teams. They were interesting and made me think (ex: realizing that Steven could have been so much more). Could you analyze more humans of the pokeverse?
Anonymous
A

Hmm.  Maybe?  The trouble is that there are relatively few human characters that get a lot of decent characterisation in the games.  I don’t think I could come up with enough material for a full entry on a Gym Leader or Elite Four member, for instance.  Maybe the Professors…?  Or rivals…?  Yeah… yeah, I could probably do a series on the rivals.  At some point.  I can’t remember at the moment what I was planning to do after my next thirty-odd anime episodes; it can’t have been that important…

TL;DR - suggestion noted.  I’ll think about it.


Mudkip, Marshtomp and Swampert

Mudkip.  Artwork by Ken Sugimori; auctoritas picturae huius Nintendoni est.So i herd u liek Mudkipz?

…eheh.  Sorry.  I couldn’t resist.

caelicolae immortales, I hate that meme…

Today’s cute little bundle of utter nonsense is Mudkip, the… swampy… fishy… thing.  Now, as for me personally, I’m sorry to say that, no, I don’t liek Mudkipz.  His evolutions, Marshtomp and Swampert, belong to an archetype that I’m simply not very fond of.  However, that doesn’t mean this is a bad design.  Maybe Game Freak realised on their own how boring Feraligatr was, or maybe someone pointed out to them, or maybe (far more likely) Mudkip just happened to get lucky, because he is anything but a simple cartoon of an ordinary animal.  He’s probably based on something like an axolotl – a curious species of salamander that, although it does have an ‘adult’ form, never actually metamorphoses under natural conditions, and retains the gills of a larval salamander for its whole life (you can force an axolotl to metamorphose and become a land animal, but the stress will either drastically shorten the poor thing’s lifespan or kill it outright – I’m sure there’s a metaphor in that somewhere…). 

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Bah

Okay, so, I was busy all weekend and I told Tumblr to put my next post up at 10pm on Saturday, but I see now that it hasn’t because it is dumb.  I’ll fix that now.  Next post will be on Tuesday night as it should be.


Q
So far, ( apart from both protagonist's hairstyles) what do you think of Black and White 2? I quite like it, and as much as I wish it, I sorely doubt we'll be going back to Hoenn in this game.
Anonymous
A

Honestly?  Too soon to say.  Game Freak are clearly putting way more effort into them than I thought they would (I’d expected something similar to Crystal, Emerald and Platinum, only paired instead of alone), so I’m just going to keep my mouth shut until I see the finished product. This entry might amuse you, although much of it has been superseded by newer information.  I tend to avoid spoilers as far as possible going into a new Pokémon game, so you probably shouldn’t expect any comment from me until they’re released in New Zealand (normally happens at the same time as the European release).


Q
If you had the chance, how would you recalibrate the Pokemon typing chart to make it more balanced? For example, Ice is probably the worst defensive type, and Poison and Normal are probably the worst offensive types. I was thinking Poison should be super-effective on Water, Water should resist Fighting, Ice should resist Dragon, etc.
Anonymous
A

Oy vey.  Okay, I don’t pretend to have thought through this in any great detail and I promise I will someday do a whole entry on this, but I don’t believe any of these changes would break anything…

- I probably would throw in Poison-beats-Water and Ice-resists-Dragon; maybe not Water-resists-Fighting, though, since Water is a pretty good defensive type already.
-  Some of Steel’s resistances need to be eliminated; I think Ghost and Psychic are reasonable.
- Bug used to be super-effective against Poison; I don’t think it would hurt to make it neutral now.  Grass has more offensive weaknesses than any type in the game and I don’t think it would be unreasonable to make Grass attacks neutral to Bug or Flying types (or both).
- I’m tempted to say Normal should be super-effective against *something* but I’m not sure what yet…


Torchic, Combusken and Blaziken

Torchic, Combusken and Blaziken. Artwork by Ken Sugimori; my momma always said, Nintendo is as Nintendo does.Our next starter is a chicken?  Really, Game Freak?  A chicken?

It’s… well, not as odd as it sounds.  A good friend of mine grew up on a farm and had a number of pet chickens over the course of her childhood.  Not only are they actually quite good pets, each with distinct personalities as interesting as any dog or cat’s, the brighter ones can be taught tricks (my friend won prizes at her primary school for doing just that).  Chickens may not have the same kind of awesomeness potential as more conventional pet animals, but they’re really quite underrated.  So, there you have it.  Setting off from home accompanied only by a firebreathing chicken is… admittedly still not a very good idea, but not a markedly worse idea than leaving with a magic frog or a perfectly ordinary baby crocodile.  Torchic basically has generic Fire Pokémon characteristics, other than a note that she doesn’t like darkness and, to my knowledge, this really is a noticeable trait of real chickens; they have poor night vision, so they don’t like to move around when it’s dark.  That seems a little odd for a Fire Pokémon (especially one whose name is derived from “torch”), since Torchic can presumably just produce flames to light up a dark area, but I guess I’ll go with it. 

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Treecko, Grovyle and Sceptile

Treecko.  Artwork by Ken Sugimori; beauty is in the eye of Nintendo.Sometimes it’s good to have trends within a Pokémon type.  They add a sense of identity, a feeling that these Pokémon are defined by more than just an arbitrarily assigned set of elemental powers.  Of course, half of the joy in having trends and stereotypes is in finding fun ways to break them, and so it is that the third Grass-type starter was something quite unusual indeed; a highly mobile, aggressive Grass Pokémon.  Treecko, Grovyle and Sceptile belong to the inherently badass jungle fighter archetype, which is appealing because Grass Pokémon don’t normally go for ‘badass’ – their power is typically of a very understated sort.  Ruby and Sapphire were the beginning of a shift towards more diversity in that respect, introducing Grass-types like Shiftry, Cacturne, Breloom… and these guys.  They’re geckos, of course, and as geckos their padded feet can grip onto just about any surface; they can climb walls and walk on ceilings, no problem, which means they can come at you from any direction they damn well please. 

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Q
Fuck you Totodile is awesome your opinion is wrong
Anonymous
A

I have seen the light.  Your piercing insight has convinced me that Totodile is, in fact, the best-designed Pokémon of all time.


Totodile, Croconaw and Feraligatr

These Pokémon bore me.

 Totodile, Croconaw and Feraligatr.  Artwork by Ken Sugimori; blah blah copyright, blah blah fair u-CRIKEY, ME ARM!

I’m sorry, but it’s true.  Totodile, Croconaw and Feraligatr bore me.  I honestly think they’re the most boring starter Pokémon in the history of ever.  Why would I think that?  They’re crocodiles; crocodiles are awesome, aren’t they?  What with the biting, and the ripping, and the tearing, and the biting, and the shredding, and the biting, and the…

…and the…

…what… what else do these Pokémon do, exactly?  Game Freak, help me out here.

I’m dead serious; they bite stuff and that’s pretty much it.  I’ve looked through all the Pokédex entries for all the games, and every single one of Totodile’s entries, every single one of Croconaw’s, and about half of Feraligatr’s are about how awesome they are at biting things.  It’s like that was all they could think of.  The other traits of Feraligatr’s that the Pokédex describes are his ability to move around easily even out of water thanks to his strong legs, and the fact that he normally moves slowly but can strike with incredible speed.  So… he’s exactly like a crocodile. 

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Cyndaquil, Quilava and Typhlosion

Cyndaquil.  Artwork by Ken Sugimori; Nintendo is the way and the truth and the life, and no-one comes to Nintendo except through Game Freak.Cyndaquil has never caught my interest.  I’m not sure why; maybe I’m just prejudiced against mammals (Cyndaquil is, believe it or not, the only mammalian starter Pokémon of the first three generations; the vast majority were reptiles).  In principle, though, she’s based on a fairly neat idea; take a spiny mammal like a hedgehog or echidna and set its spines on fire, because fire is awesome.  A lot of Fire Pokémon earn their place in the ranks of their element purely by virtue of being able to breathe fire, so she’s clearly off to a good start in the creativity stakes by integrating her element with her design base in a pleasing way.  Personality-wise, although Cyndaquil herself is very shy and timid, her evolved forms, Quilava and Typhlosion, are stereotypical hot-headed Fire-types.  That’s not especially bad; there’s no point to Pokémon that defy the stereotypes without Pokémon who conform to them, and if you need to do something like that, the starters are the place to do it.  If there’s one place in the game where you want Pokémon to be exactly what players expect, this (arguably) is it.  On the other hand, Charizard did it so well that it becomes difficult to expect Typhlosion to live up to that standard.

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Chikorita, Bayleef and Meganium

Chikorita.  Artwork by Ken Sugimori; blood for Nintendo; skulls for their skull throne!Yay; more Grass-types!  Like Bulbasaur, Chikorita was part of my childhood (less so, since I started to splash out a little on Silver and actually picked one of the other two starters from time to time) so, of course, I love her to bits.  However, I must be strong.  I have to talk about what these Pokémon mean for me personally, but I’ll do my best to discuss them objectively too…

Here’s something you might not know about me: I was a dinosaur kid.  Now, I don’t mean that like how all boys go through the dinosaur phase and learn to rattle off the names of the dozen or so coolest ones that were in Jurassic Park and play with models.  I mean some of my first words were dinosaur names, I had the evolutionary lineage of the whole damn Order Archosauria memorised by the time I was ten, I used to get really ticked off with people who called Pteranodon a ‘flying dinosaur,’ I was genuinely remorseful that humanity only existed because dinosaurs had gone extinct, while all the other kids were playing with T-Rex and Triceratops I was into the really hipster dinosaurs like Scutellosaurus and Homalocephale, and I’m even worse now because I’ve studied Latin and Greek and know what all the names actually mean. 

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Squirtle, Wartortle and Blastoise

Squirtle.  Artwork by Ken Sugimori; do unto Nintendo as you would have Nintendo do unto you.It’s funny, but I’ve never been a big fan of the Water-type starters.  Funny, because some of my favourite Pokémon are Water-types.  Maybe it’s because they’re always juxtaposed with the Grass-type starters, which for me is no contest.  If that’s the case, then perhaps examining them in isolation will make the truth come out.  Let’s give it a try…

Squirtle is adorable.  As far as cuteness goes, amongst the first-generation starters Squirtle’s nailed it.  Of course, I think turtles are just adorable animals by nature, but it’s hard not to go all warm and gooey inside when you see him staring up at you in Sugimori’s art over there.  However, this does bring up my problem with Squirtle, since, sadly, I do have one; he’s… well, just a turtle. 

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Charmander, Charmeleon and Charizard

Charmander.  Artwork by Ken Sugimori; Nintendo is Luke's father.There’s something about Charizard.  Maybe it’s the inherent awesomeness of Fire as an element.  Maybe it’s the allure of his base set trading card, whose Fire Spin was pretty much the most powerful attack in the game.  Maybe it’s the fact that he’s a goddamn freakin’ dragon.  Charizard is easily the most popular of the first-generation starters and, despite my perpetual love affair with the Grass type, I have to admit that it’s easy to see why.  Charmander may be cute as a button but one look at his burning tail shows that he means business nonetheless.  Charmeleon has the look of a proud fighter who loves to punch above his weight.  Charizard simply demands respect, and incinerates anyone who denies him.  What more could we possibly want?

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